Fat Bottomed Girls

A little while ago, and after having been here for about five months I decided to go and see the Statue Of Liberty properly. I’d seen it before on the trip to the Staten Island dump, and on every trip to south Jersey, but never really up close. So as usual, did no research and headed to Manhattan.

Taking the ferry across I realised I had no idea where to go to get the boat to the Statue, somewhat naively thinking there was only one ferry terminal in New York. There isn’t, there’s lots. A forty minute walk down the quite pleasant embankment I arrived at the ticket booth, but not before I found the British Navy clearly planning a retake of the colonies cleverly disguised as taking slightly gay all fellars together photos:

You buy the tickets for the tour, which includes Ellis Island, near the ferry port at a place called Castle Clinton the name of which for some reason reminded me of a west London massage parlour, but anyway there’s no dogs and no guns allowed in the ticket booths and they felt the need to put signs up telling you.

After that it was on to the boat via a metal detector, shoe and belt removal tent which did not go down well with the elderly male tourists whose belts had actual practical value. There was this bloke who just annoyed me. Somewhere there’s a sports shop missing its entire Boston Celtics 2006 winter line, he is wearing it. And his face was weird. Here:

Shortly after I took this a bird shat on him (don’t ask why I was following him, I don’t know).

So we arrive at the Statue of Liberty. Since it was pissing with rain, freezing cold and you can’t actually go in the statue unless you arrive at 8am I decided not to get off. I did notice though, that Lady Liberty is all woman. In the sense that East German female weight lifters are all women. She’s got arms like a bricklayer and an arse you could camp in. I don’t mean just physically but proportionately this woman is huge, and her belly sticks out further than her chest. Evidence:

Apparently the woman is the mother of the man who designed the statue (Frederic-Auguste Bartholdi). I’m not saying his mother is ugly but..

Despite all that, the Statue is incredibly impressive, and you get a phenomenal postcard type view of New York as a backdrop to it. Just less so in the pouring rain. By now I was freezing cold and soaked, though to be fair I could have stayed inside the boat but thats where Sports Boy was. Staying on the boat I decided to spend my time on Ellis Island instead where millions people were processed for immigration back in the early 20th century. And I was next.

Would you let him in your country ?